Unemployed.

I applied for three more jobs. By this stage, I feel like I have applied for every job ever advertised and NOTHING. The only glimmer of hope is from tutoring – I’ve got a new student now (finally)…I’m tutoring her for the first time on Tuesday so we’ll see how that goes… *fingers crossed*

I’m really broke and I owe people money and I’m sick of everyone acting like I’m not looking for a job. I even went to motherfucking JobFind – clearly I want to be employed.

/rant

Waha like a motherfucker

 

Photos of The Wahas & Marie and your truly, taken by ANNIE LY.

 

These last few days have been good, except for the intense heat.

 

On Tuesday I went to Job Find Training again (painfully boring and useless), then hung out with Andrew later on and learned the rules of 20/20 cricket. On Wednesday I went to the dentist, then to see The Wahas at Spectrum with Annie and Marie. We were also joined by Leesy, Dave and Serena & Morgan, Mark and Nina but they all went in separate ways instead of inside Spectrum where they should have been. The Wahas played a great gig and if you missed it this week, you can see them for the next two weeks, Wednesdays, at the same place, same time, same price (Spectrum, 8pm onwards, $10). I strongly recommend everyone see this band. They are amazing! Today I went to Stanwell Park with Jasmina, Nikola, Nenad and Drazen to laze around on the beach. It was so nice. The weather was much cooler than in Sydney and I love going up and down the coast every now and then just to be somewhere a little more quiet than Sydney, and a little different. It makes me crave a road trip around Australia. The waves were so strong that I was toppled over by them and almost taken out to the deeper water because I couldn’t grab onto anything and was just getting pulled by the power of the water. Basically, the ocean made me its bitch. We bought hot chips from a place that was a café, fish and chip shop, newsagent, video rental place and general grocery store all in one. Impressive! Driving back with the windows down, insane wind blowing on our faces, sunnies on, sand everywhere, messy hair, blasting Zana’s Dodirni mi kolena. Oh yes! It was such a good day. I took lots of photos with my camera from the 80s named Dani California, which I am looking forward to developing. (I have 3 films waiting to be developed, and no money whatsoever.)

 

I’m also really looking forward to the next few days but my financial situation is kind of a cunt which may get in the way of me really enjoying myself… Lame.

 

I’m becoming strangely attached to my dreadlocks. I really want to get this haircut I’ve been lusting over for ages, but the thought of cutting off my dreads makes me a bit sad…

We should be inside by evening

       

 

I spent Tuesday attempting not to die from the horrible weather and the bad mood it put me in. I spent the day reading, hanging out with my sister as she built a model of a castle from Terry Pratchett books, listening to The Doors and generally being bored. My Canadian cousin Zoran came back from New Zealand and is staying with us until Saturday when he flies back to Canadia. He’s sleeping in my sister’s room so Jelena & I have become roomies. I decided I had to watch Gossip Girl but I couldn’t find it on DVD at Blockbuster (does it even exist on DVD yet?) so I got The OC season 1 instead. I’m convinced the girl working was judging me for borrowing that… But it puts me in such a good mood! Then I discovered that the PSP box in my room was not Vlado’s or Zoran’s PSP which I figured they’d left as it was too heavy to carry around; it turned out to be a present from their brother Sasa – it was filled with Canadian candy! Much more exciting than a PSP for someone like me who’s not into video games!!

 

On Wednesday I had to get out of the house because I’d been inside too long, so Annie and I went to the city. We wandered around Town Whore a bit and it was packed with people. We walked down Circular Quay-way, and stopped at some little park in Wynyard, which was quite nice. But then it started to rain a bit so we walked down to the Museum of Contemporary Art. There are so many new things in there that I’m completely in love with. GO HAVE A LOOK! Then we sat around outside people-watching a lot and making up new lives for everyone that walked past. We saw a man in a cowboy hat and a Marlboro jacket! Then back to Town Whore where we spent a long time looking at CDs in Red Eye, and I ended up buying a Doors DVD – one of those Classic Albums things, for their first record. It’s a pretty good DVD and features a snippet of one of their first demos, before Robby joined the band! I love The Doors…..so fucking much. Then we went to Chinatown for lunch, then to our new favourite spot, across from the cake shop, for cigarette smoking and barley tea drinking. Theeeeen to a park in Surry Hills where we hung out for a while before heading home. A really nice day.

 

So far today I’ve watched two Doors DVDs, a Bowie DVD, listened to two Doors CDs, made a mini-zine out of my short story Survival of the Fittest, eaten ice cream and complained about being bored and broke.

Special K

WHO REMEMBERS THIS MOVIE?!

 

 

I wanted to be this guy when I grew up…

 

 

These last few days have not been very exciting. I haven’t gone further than Cabramatta. I visited Centrelink to get them to help me find a job because I’ve pretty much failed with every other option. Tomorrow I have to get up really early for an interview with Jobfind. I put together a sort of portfolio thing, with some of my writing. Not that that will help find me a job, but it makes me feel good about myself. I went to the dentist, again. Two more teeth taken care of. I’ve become obsessed with reading the newspapers. I’m still broke as a fucking joke and it’s really frustrating. The novelty of being broke whilst reading Down and Out in Paris and London wore off rather quickly. It’s Religious Boring Time (aka our Patron Saint Day…thing) in the house so I’m stuck at home Thursday and Friday, helping out, pretending to care, all that sort of thing. I’m forcing Jasmina to come over and keep me sane. Hmmmm what else? Here, read my review of the Mercy Arms gig the other night.

12.51

 

This arrived in New Zealand today so now it’s safe to post it here without the surprise being ruined – mail I sent to Dee with a mix I, just quietly, think is some of my best mix work yet.

 

Straylight Run – Hands in the Sky (Big Shot)

Bjork (feat. Kelis) – Oceania

Tricky (feat. D’na) – Call Me

The Weakerthans – Without Mythologies

Die! Die! Die! – Whitehorses

Kicks Joy Darkness – Collapse of the Wave Function

MGMT – Weekend Wars

The White Stripes – I Want To Be the Boy To Warm Your Mother’s Heart

The Magnetic Fields – With Whom To Dance

Patrick Wolf – Lycanthropy

The Dandy Warhols – I Love You

Bloc Party – Selfish Son

Pulp – 97 Lovers

 

Speaking of mail, this morning I received a lot of zines and it was so good; it felt like back in the day when the only zines I knew of were from overseas or from elsewhere in Australia and the idea of zinester friends in person seemed so far-fetched, so I’d get really excited every time I got mail addressed to “Ivana Stab”.

 

I chopped off more of my hair yesterday and have started straightening the ends so it fluffs out more and curls less and it’s pretty rad.

 

Aside from the inconceivable pain caused by my menstrual cycle, today was a pretty good day. I had plans of going to uni to return some books but the thought of climbing up all those steps was just too much. All I wanted to do was curl up in a ball and clutch my stomach. I got to the city around 1.30 and hung out at Hyde Park reading zines – Brainscan #23 by Alex Wrekk is absolutely fucking amazing and everything I love about zines combined into the one well written, amazing-looking zine. I bought a World AIDS Day ribbon, leaving me with $1 in my wallet. The man that was selling them said “excuse me sir” before I looked up…then he apologised quickly. Hah. I was wearing yet another shirt stolen from my dad, though. The man has a much bigger wardrobe than I do and he’s got style! Then Kylar joined me and brought some tube of neon green goo which was apparently candy – didn’t look very edible and neither of us wanted to try it. Kylar also brought presents. Then Morgan joined us, bringing Panadol thankfully (which sadly didn’t end up helping at all). We hung around for a while, put Kylar’s present to use, though it didn’t really do much for me, then left Hyde Park because they wanted food, then wandered aimlessly before going into Red Eye where I saw lots of CDs I wanted to buy (although the one that really interested me was by a band I’d never heard of but loved the name – Agnostic Front! …also, why are bands like Cobra Starship and Fall Out Boy and Simple Plan in the Punk section…?). Then Kylar left and Morgan and I went to Hyde Park again where we ended up staying until 7, I smoked an entire packet of cigarettes and it was decided that I have to go to Mother Russia before moving out, and I can move out after I’ve discovered the meaning of life in the mother country. Yes!

 

I came home to realise mother has completely stopped talking to me and I have no fucking idea why. Something about how I’m not taking care of my health and don’t listen to her? Lollerskatez.  

It’s Friday, I’m in love

Last Friday

I went to the dentist to have my teeth cleaned. Having to bite down, for three minutes, on some weird rubber device with fluoride (I think) on it is incredibly uncomfortable.

 

In the evening, Annie and I went to the city. I was wearing these stockings that have a rip in them that looks pretty good but then I was playing around with it and it ripped a little too much. I got paranoid about the stockings just coming apart so we had to find a new pair somewhere. 7-11 comes in so handy sometimes. There were some really weird noises in the sky as we walked to Kings Cross; we couldn’t figure out if it was thunder, fireworks or bombs. Anyway, so we got to Candy’s and in a hilarious incident with the security guards, got our precious vodka taken away (but they were nice enough to give it back to us later). Then we got free entry thanks to Darren. (I later found out Outrun put me on the guest-list – awww.) Inside we met up with my friends-from-the-ghetto Jasmina, Nenad and Drazen who had surprisingly decided to come along that night. Drazen and Nenad bought me a lot of drinks and let me drink theirs too which was nice.

 

A band called Yen played a really long set. They were pretty good. Kind of mellow and interesting. Sujin and Marie joined us also. Towards the end of Yen’s set, Annie and I went outside for a bit…to…get medicated…and then we went back to Candy’s and saw Outrun play. AND THEY WERE REALLY FUCKING AMAZING. The only downside was the length of their set – nowhere near long enough. But they were so, so good, especially considering that chatting to Josh beforehand, I found out he’d had three hours of sleep! So, rather impressive. I fucking love this band! After their set, we stayed around for a while drinking and dancing and being amused by Drazen’s antics. Was fun!

 

The night ended with an hours-long gutter party, with my friends-from-the-ghetto leaving Annie and I…I don’t think they appreciate the beauty of gutter parties. One day they will learn! It was a really good night but I had a killlllller hangover the next day.

 

This Friday

  

Last night ended really early but for some reason, it felt like we’d been out forever. I guess we did a lot in a short amount of time.

 

First, Annie & I went to see Ohana play at Spectrum and they were so good! That was the first time I’d seen them play live and I was as impressed as I was when I first heard them on FBi. I need to discover more bands like them (suggestions, anyone?).

 

Then we went down to the Oxford Art Factory to see The Vignettes play and they were, as always, heaps of fun and completely incredible. There was a little fan club happening at the front of the stage and they were adorable. After they played, we talked to Natalie and Aaron for a bit, from The Revolution Artist Services, about music and TEETH and other good stuff. They’re both so lovely, and I was completely jealous hearing that Aaron has seen Nirvana live! There’s some good stuff being planned between The Revolution Artist Services and TEETH so…stay tuned!

 

Then back to Spectrum to see Die! Die! Die!, a fucking brilliant band that I absolutely love seeing live because it is always complete insanity and sweat, bruises, spilled drinks, loss of inhibitions, etc. They always put on such a good show!!!!!!! They need to come to Sydney more often. I very rarely see people lose their minds that much at smaller gigs and it’s amazing! Ran into Taps, Andrew and Myers there too which was cool.  

 

After that neither of us could stop talking about how amazing it was and so we regretted going back to OAF where The Protectors were playing because it kind of ruined the good vibes a bit. Seriously…just because you look interesting doesn’t mean you should be a band. Also, looking like the lovechild of Steven Tyler and Mick Jagger doesn’t mean you are either of them.

 

Then we had to leave early because Annie’s sister was offering us both lifts home if we came back not too late, and since we both hate the amount taxi drivers charge, and since yesterday ended with me having 85c to my name, we took up the offer.

 

How I survived with no money: bottle of vodka left over from last week + Annie buying me drinks (thanks dude!) + my father’s spare change jar for Spectrum entry & train ticket. Whoooo!

 

(Photos by ANNIE LY.)

BUY MY ZINES!

Alright, because I don’t have a job at the moment, I need to sell like 40 of my zines to get my haircut. Yeah, I know, $75 for a haircut, it’s insane. But I need to get rid of this thing living on top of my head. SO, you know what to do.

Gonna live on science alone

    

 

I’ve been feeling down but I have ways of dealing.

 

Yesterday I met up with Kylar in the city and we went to American Apparel where he spent forever trying on clothes as I wished I’d been born a boy because their clothing is much better. Except for the heel-wearing girls get to do, but I’d wear heels even if I was a boy, and I don’t actually get to wear heels much now because I am a giant and also don’t really know how to walk in them. Anyway, the customers at AA bugged me a little but the employees are lovely, and Kylar bought green jeans. Then we had coffee at Bill and Toni’s, wandered around…I guess we wandered around a lot because I sort of lose track here and we end up at Jet…oh yeah, we went to get Kylar’s novelty lighter fixed but that didn’t really work out. We saw Albert so he joined us for a while at Jet. He was waiting for a friend who was an hour and a half late and we left a little after she arrived. Kylar went home to feed the cat and I went home to watch too much TV, then talk to Nenad until 3^rd Rock From the Sun was on at 1.30 in the morning, doing lots of sit-ups in between because I have lost my mind and think that sit-ups are the cure for everything. (Since 10^th November, I have done 1120 sit-ups and 450 crunches altogether. Go me!)

 

 

Today looked good to start with, then absolutely everything turned to shit rapidly, I did some crying, etc and then decided I had to make myself feel better or else, so I left the house in a hurry, went to the city with about $5 to my name & walked up Broadway giving my resume out (I am so desperate for a job I even gave my resume to that horrible Goth-by-numbers store near Easy Way). Then I walked further down to the University of Sydney where I met up with my sister and we walked to Newtown where she bought us Thai food for lunch and we wandered King St for a bit. By this stage I’d basically completely forgotten how miserable I’d been earlier. I just need to keep myself distracted. Then we went back to her uni, to her interesting but sort of depressing lab (it’s fascinating but spending long hours there would be horrible) where she finished an experiment. To my disappointment there was no fire, smoke, bubbling liquids…nothing. Science isn’t as fun as they make it seem on TV! Then we headed homewards, and she continued towards Liverpool to meet up with friends.

 

My Canadian cousin Vlado was at my house; he’d had lunch with my parents and so we hung out, talking, watching TV, etc. I found out he’s got a job at the same place Kylar works, so I warned him about it. Oh and then I got my grades and that sort of brought the good mood to new levels.

 

So the downside now remains that I am broke as a fucking joke, have no idea how to get any money, am on constant bad terms with my mother and my sister is going away for the weekend! But I’m ok and am seeing Die! Die! Die! & Ohana tomorrow regardless of the money situation…I’ll figure something out (dentist money, anyone?).